Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Can i not drive my cunt home
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
