the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
this hospital has no fireball
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
