i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
