if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
