yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
