its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
