What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
