And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
