these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
