We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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