how hairy? two words: wookie tits
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
My vagina is very pro this idea
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
