I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
my poor anus
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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