I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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