I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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