Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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