Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize