quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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