Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
