So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
