I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
