wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
