I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
