I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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