I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
