I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize