Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
