I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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