genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
