If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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