do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
