i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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