hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
