I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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