We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
whose ass print is on the piano?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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