I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
