genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I'm really busy with my period
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