I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
