We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
