You don't have asthma, your pregnant
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
