you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize