...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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