Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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