just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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