He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
