I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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