hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
