He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
