Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
