actually, I'm a sock model
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
