Buhtt sex?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
