STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
