was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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