i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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