Pants 0. Shit 1.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
